Monday, November 30, 2009

Object in mirror may be larger than it appears.

Last week while our hot water heater was on the fritz I went over to my in-laws to use their shower. As you step out of the shower there is a wall to wall, floor to ceiling mirror. THAT'S when I saw IT.....MY BUTT! I was like a deer staring at the on coming headlights, frozen in fear, unable to move or look away.

There are just so many issues wrapped up in this whole self care thing.It just does not fit in well with the whole chaotic ADD/self defeatest lifestyle I have become so accustomed to.There are two main issues I need to deal with if I am going to make these changes stick.

  1. GET OFF MY ASS AND EXERCISE which I hate btw
  2. Encourage myself and get that bitchy ol' inner critic to shut the hell up!She has got 24/7 PMS!

Lets tackle these issues one by one shall we?
#1 EXERCISE/TORTURE
I know I need  to get moving.Part of the problem is that the mere thought of going to a gym gives me hives. Perhaps I might join once I am confident that I am not going to hurl on a treadmill. (SEXY! I know!) Have you ever watched "The Biggest Loser"? Those people go through some amazing transformations and work their asses off to get to where they want to be. I bet those trainers keep the editing department busy with all the barfing that takes place back at the ranch workout room. I don't think that yaking all over the spining bike down at the local gym will be a very good motivational tool to use to  make me want to go back.Then, there are the financial obligations to consider. I am not ready to dole out the buck-a-roos till I am SURE I will stick with it.As you can see I already have a self defeating mantra in place to "ensure success" 

Which leads me to my next issue.....

#2 THE SHIT WE TELL OURSELVES

I don't know about you but, if a person talked to me the way I talk to myself I would smack them in the face walking away never speaking to them again.Instead I am SO HARSH on myself. It's more like I have asked that person to move in with me. Then asked them to follow me around and give commentary on how I live my life. Let's not forget the all important reminder of what a screw up I am.The crotchety inner critic always there when you need a little self doubt. I even pay this bitches rent!

So now what?I have decided to send out a search and rescue mission. I am determined to find the women hidden some where underneath all this....YUCK! I find the threat of public failure to be quite motivating so I am asking you all to do this with me. I have joined a web site called SPARKpeople. This web site is completely FREE and filled with easy to use tools, recipes and mobile apps. Did I mention it's FREE ?
I have my own team on there called: Object in mirror may be larger than it appears

So join SPARKpeople with me and join my team.Lets get our boo-tay in order..K?Come by here and check out how I am doing. I will try to keep my whining to a minimum.What do you do to maintain a healthy lifestyle? Are you a gym person? Or a home girl? How do you stay motivated and excercise fun?


SparkPeople.com: Get a Free Online Diet

7 comments:

Justine said...

Perfection! Made me laugh out loud. I too, hate that mirror and am thankful I most likley will never have to use that shower ever again!

DBooth said...

One of the lame things about traveling is that all the hotels have WAY too many mirrors. I always have such a complex when I get home.

Chris said...

I cracked 200 lbs for the first time a couple months ago. That and my IT diet of a coffee/cigarettes breakfast and cigarettes/Altoids lunch have told me I'm headed for an early heart attack. Me and the ol lady have a treadmill being delivered tomorrow, punching bag and weight bench will be next. I'm feeling pretty motivated just to feel a bit more active and not so tired after work. Hopefully a better a diet will follow. I've always eaten like shit, so that will be tough.

Once my arms get bigger, I will name them Locked and Loaded. The three of us shall regain command of the house from the cats.

thishumanscondition said...

I am so harsh with myself, too. And as wrong as that is, full-length mirrors should be banned. Especially with a lot of natural light! Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest! :)

j. saufler said...

Ugh- totally understand. It takes a lot of work to silence the inner critic. If I exercised as often as I thought about exercising I would be totally buff. But that's not how it works, is it? damn.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sara just got a catch of your blog. As for the butt, I knew I had an issue when I was in a Sharper Image store and accidentally knocked over a radio with my fat butt - I thought I had plenty of room. The there was the time I was in one of those tiny commuter jets and while getting out I accidently bent over while getting my bag and this creep in his suit spoke under his breath "Fat Bitch" but I heard him. Then there was the time I was trying to pass by someone and my butt accidentally hit that person and she was ready to punch me one. Soooooooo, I try and try to do something about it and sometimes it works and sometimes that big butt just reappears. The sick thing is I thought I was fat when I wasn't like when I weighed 122. Now I am fat and try to love myself no matter what. I just don't want my butt to be a hazard to someone else. As for growing up, I am 61 and still trying to grow up. Actually, I think I am now working in reverse. I try as hard as possible to be a kid and I feel the best when riding my bike and feeling the breezes, boogie boarding and the rush of a good wave or being a kid with your kids - one of my favorite things of all. As for you, you are Sara, we love you just the way you are. Enjoy the ride. PS. You are a sick and dirty writer. Peace. Midgie.

Paige said...

Hi there, I joined your sparkpeople group! And I'm doing the body after baby challenge to. Good luck reaching your goals!