The tea made me do it!

        Can I procrastinate or what? My last post was back in.........back in.....well, lets just say it's been a while. It's not as if I've done nothing... I have!... I've been learning and finding all sorts of new tricks about blogging .Lately though, it seems like the little whispers the universe sends out to us to nudge us down the right path, have been slowly building to a roar. This topped off with the continuous encouragements and kind reminders from my BFF and my family to get to it.
        I think, or I should say, I KNOW why I have shied away from my blog. It's because I have not practiced any of what I have preached in my last post. Not only have I not lost a single pound, I have barely exercised and I am still hanging with that bitchy inner critic chick. I have even given her a promotion with a laptop, free wi-fi, and her very own twitter account. That way she can keep me updated on my sad sorry state in real time.

        While practicing one of my favorite procrastination exercises (surfing the web) I checked out this fellow blogger site. I had discovered her while reading a magazine (another fantastic distraction) called Artful Blogging. Her blog "Life Set to Words" is stunning. I was struck by a post she had written about a quote she had read on a yogi tea bag .
                                             -Whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing.

        I love that quote. It reminded me that all we do moment by moment is important. Even those not so memorable or honorable ones. It reminds me that denial and procrastination are just the kind of fuel that lil' Mrs. critic bitch need to fuel my fear of failure fire....or is it fear of success ? I am still not so sure about that one. What I am sure about, is that I need to shake that stuff off. Tell that critic women to shut the hell up , feel the fear and then do it any way.

        The events of my morning really sums up the whispering to screaming universe thing I talked about earlier.

•         6:30 am . Sat down with morning coffee at the computer to check in with my facebook peeps. My BFF has left me a comment on my post the night before telling me she got a kick out of it and said, I quote "you should get back to blogging already!"
•         9 am. My hubbie calls during his coffee break. While we were chatting he says " that is SO true, you should put that in your blog."
•         10:30 am. (this is the cherry on the screaming universe cake) I make my mid morning cup of tea. When I flip the tag I have to laugh.......

                                            - Whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing.   

        OK ...OK ... I get the hint!... I drank my tea.... picked up my pen and began to write.                          
       

                                    

Object in mirror may be larger than it appears.

Last week while our hot water heater was on the fritz I went over to my in-laws to use their shower. As you step out of the shower there is a wall to wall, floor to ceiling mirror. THAT'S when I saw IT.....MY BUTT! I was like a deer staring at the on coming headlights, frozen in fear, unable to move or look away.

There are just so many issues wrapped up in this whole self care thing.It just does not fit in well with the whole chaotic ADD/self defeatest lifestyle I have become so accustomed to.There are two main issues I need to deal with if I am going to make these changes stick.

1. GET OFF MY ASS AND EXERCISE which I hate btw
2. Encourage myself and get that bitchy ol' inner critic to shut the hell up!She has got 24/7 PMS!

Lets tackle these issues one by one shall we?
#1 EXERCISE/TORTURE
I know I need  to get moving.Part of the problem is that the mere thought of going to a gym gives me hives. Perhaps I might join once I am confident that I am not going to hurl on a treadmill. (SEXY! I know!) Have you ever watched "The Biggest Loser"? Those people go through some amazing transformations and work their asses off to get to where they want to be. I bet those trainers keep the editing department busy with all the barfing that takes place back at the ranch workout room. I don't think that yaking all over the spining bike down at the local gym will be a very good motivational tool to use to  make me want to go back.Then, there are the financial obligations to consider. I am not ready to dole out the buck-a-roos till I am SURE I will stick with it.As you can see I already have a self defeating mantra in place to "ensure success" 

Which leads me to my next issue.....

#2 THE SHIT WE TELL OURSELVES

I don't know about you but, if a person talked to me the way I talk to myself I would smack them in the face walking away never speaking to them again.Instead I am SO HARSH on myself. It's more like I have asked that person to move in with me. Then asked them to follow me around and give commentary on how I live my life. Let's not forget the all important reminder of what a screw up I am.The crotchety inner critic always there when you need a little self doubt. I even pay this bitches rent!

So now what?I have decided to send out a search and rescue mission. I am determined to find the women hidden some where underneath all this....YUCK! I find the threat of public failure to be quite motivating so I am asking you all to do this with me. I have joined a web site called SPARKpeople. This web site is completely FREE and filled with easy to use tools, recipes and mobile apps. Did I mention it's FREE ?
I have my own team on there called: Object in mirror may be larger than it appears

So join SPARKpeople with me and join my team.Lets get our boo-tay in order..K?Come by here and check out how I am doing. I will try to keep my whining to a minimum.What do you do to maintain a healthy lifestyle? Are you a gym person? Or a home girl? How do you stay motivated and excercise fun?

Changing Spaces

      In May of 2008 I attended a writing retreat at Kripalu Yoga and retreat center. I took a workshop with SARK. She is a favorite of mine and the weekend was an adventure.The workshop was based on her book " Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper". I met with all sorts of exciting women and a few even braver men (if I remember correctly the ratio was 2/30) anywho? I learned allot about myself that weekend.
    I realized how little I allowed myself the time to be creative. I learned to sit alone with my thoughts and how much fun it was to write and share. I also learned how I let my perfectionist ego get in the way. I am constantly fighting with myself, second-guessing every thing to death. I think it’s my favorite form of procrastination.
This lil'ol' blog thing has been a great lesson for that. I have had to learn that changes are just a point and a click of the mouse away and nothing is set in stone. I just have to put it out there. Let it go. The world will not blow up if the color of your header is not just so and I do not have to be The Bloggess (one of my new favorite people I wanna be when I grow up. This list also includes Tina Fay and Beyonce. I have ADD what can I say, I'm fickle) over night. The blog can grow with me. Not to mention I have had to learn to be patient with the process. I have dial up internet (scandalous, I know!) so I cannot always do the work I want when I have the time or If I do needless to say, It's slow going.
Along the way I have started a great online community. I am hearing from people all over the country. All who started out in the same place as I have. They are all teaching me allot. Its great the amazing support that is out there and those that are happy to share in their experience. It is funny how just a simple thing like a comment or a new "follower" will make my day.
I also have to remember the rest of my life. Sometimes when I get on a "creative roll" I get a little anti -social. I just wanna hide and get away from every thing. That is my new fantasy and goal. Iwant a creative space for me to spread out. A quiet and occasionally loud (gotta have tunes) space that is all MINE.A child/hubby free area of meeeeenessness....AHHHHHHH! Calgon TAKE ME AWAY! Do you have a space like this? Where do you go?